Betrayal: It’s Never Just About Infidelity

Love is patient

Love is kind

Love is not jealous

Love does not brag

Love is not arrogant

Okay chaps let’s get this straight.Y’all know,I’ve been writing about God,Love Life and Relationships for the past three years or is it 32 months?I don’t know,but that doesn’t matter.The only thing that matters right now is what love is than what it’s not. I can sit down the whole day ranting and nagging about what love is than what its not but hey! forget what love is. And by the way just for a reader’s descretion, this article is inspired but true life events

Man-Proposing-To-Woman

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Few people would argue with the idea that honesty is the best policy.  But the question is, does honesty as a virtue exist anymore in us? Well, policies however are not always adhered to, even those that we believe in and support. Regardless of how much we may desire to live a life of integrity in which we “walk the talk” and live in accordance with our inner principles, it’s likely that there will be times that we miss the mark. Nobody’s perfect. Every relationship needs to have some room for slippage. I already know someone is already blinking at me continuously and putting on the ”I’m sorry say what?” look on their faces.

Calm down, listen to me. Have you ever known that great relationships however, require a high level of integrity in order to thrive. When a violation of trust, large or small, occurs it’s important to examine the conditions that contributed to the situation and to engage in a healing process that will restore trust and goodwill to the relationship.

But moving on swiftly,a betrayal is a broken agreement, implicit or explicit, that is considered vital to the integrity of a relationship. The capacity of a relationship to recover from a betrayal has a lot to do with the responses, particularly on the part of the betrayer to the situation. The more open and non-defensive they are, the more likely it is that there will be resolution. When both partners are committed to this as an outcome, the likelihood increases exponentially.

The lies and denials that are used to cover-up a transgression can do much more damage than the violation itself. Even if the lie is never uncovered and the offense is not revealed, there can still be great harm done to the foundation of the relationship. Trust is inevitably sacrificed even when secrets go undetected. Most but not all betrayals and acts of deceit can be healed.

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How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Trust

You know what they say, a good marriage is better than therapy but then again i have a deep conviction that marriage and therapy is a winning combo.But hey! we all want a fruitful marriage relationship and so why dont we just acknowledge our actions to our partner before, not after they find out.The sooner the better. The longer you have been living a lie, the deeper the damage, the lesser the likelihood of a full recovery, and the longer the healing process takes.

Trust your instincts not people…people come and go, they say this and do the contrary and that’s just life.- Ayoo Oyugi-2017

Lets get honest. Lets commit ourselves to zero tolerance for dishonesty in our relationship. Even after we’ve successfully demonstrated our commitment, don’t be surprised if your partner needs a lot of evidence that you are trustworthy before they’ll be ready to believe anything you say.Address the questions that your partner asks you. Don’t be defensive in response to your partner’s need for information. They need to make sure that you aren’t withholding anything else and they probably have a lot of questions that only you can answer.

Come on,listen to their feelings, all of them. Don’t analyze, evaluate, judge, or reason with your partner in regard to any of their feelings. Listening without disputing is not equivalent to agreeing with someone’s point of view. It’s possible to listen respectfully even if you don’t see eye to eye about everything. Feelings aren’t necessarily rational, but they are real.

Be patient. The last time i checked, patience as they say was a virtue and so reassure your partner that that they can take as much time as they need to rebuild trust.

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4 thoughts on “Betrayal: It’s Never Just About Infidelity

Add yours

  1. Stop envying the beautiful garden that’s being watered. Work on what you have. I learnt this the hard way. So please don’t wait for karma. Because it will teach you the hard way. The grass is only greener when you take care of what you have.

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