I finally had the opportunity to revisit this relationship I hadn’t been able to get out of my head for months, and I said no because I knew it wasn’t the right time.It was difficult to understand that in order for me to let go, move on and not get sucked into this grey area, I needed to want my relationship to be over.It’s something that three months post breakup, I’m embarrassed to say I still don’t want.However, I do want to stop getting hurt, I want to stop being sad, I want to stop being disappointed and I want to learn how to be happy without the prospect of a future with my ex. In order to get those things, I need to move on. Your ‘ex’ is your ex for a reason. The term ‘ex’ means past. Be it a girlfriend or boyfriend that has secured that chance to earn that title, the fact still remains that they belong to your past. Anything that belongs to your past is as good as dead. Anything dead deserves to be buried; but I must say that some of our exes be it in a relationship (dating/friendship), job or that thing that you had some kind of attachment to…the memories you shared with them tend to remain in our brains even after they are long gone. These memories define our past and some of them don’t even deserve to be buried, they just deserve to be cremated. Burnt to ashes. Never to be talked of or ever heard of again. Well, I do not intend to sound like I’m full of remorse when writing this piece of literature; but I’m just trying to be in a position that I can really express this feeling fully without leaving out any form of information that is in turn relevant to this piece in any way or the other. Now, let’s talk about what no one wants to hear about and that is break ups. Break ups are all about separation. When we separate from our loved ones, we create a gap that is so hard to merge again. These are gaps that give us a hell of time to fill. Breakups are tough, there’s no doubt about it. Your self-esteem plummets, you may feel angry and sad, and you long to be with your ex. When it comes to moving on with your life what are you to do? “There’s no better way to get over an ex than to get under someone else,” is how the saying goes. But is there any truth in it? I really doubt this. Why am I saying that I really doubt that? Getting under someone else is like hiding under the reality and hence this will mean that you are hiding under your dirty little secrets. An ex is like a secret. No one ever wants to talk about their secrets. Most so the secrets that brings some kind of pain and regrets in their lives. Actually, I dare you to ask ten people about their exes today or rather past life; out of the ten, only one or two of them will speak about their past a little bit freely without any regrets. It is with high probability that the nine or eight remaining, either won’t speak about it or if they do, they will end up hiding a lot of information. To them, these sorts of information are somehow x-filed or rather x-rated and are a top-secret to them. Don’t ask why because no one wants to associate themselves with pain. No one wants to get them attached to whatever is making them feel some kind of pain or awkwardness. Old memories tend to harm us or rather torture us mentally in some way. When relationships end, learn to let go and move on.
Mothers want to see their children succeed. Newlyweds believe their love is special and will last throughout eternity. Best friends make declarations that they can weather life’s storms together , forever, come rain, sleet, hail, marriage, children, and cross continental relocations. We’ve all felt the kind of certainty about our relationships that leaves no room for doubt, but sometimes the best laid plans, wrapped in the noblest of intentions , simply don’t work out and the only move we can make… is to move on.
A father was teaching his son how to play chess. The father said, “Son it’s your turn. What are you going to do? The young boy said, “I don’t have any moves left. I’ve got nowhere to go. “ “Then the game is over”, remarked then his father. “But I still want to play, “the child insisted. “Then you have to stop wasting time, complaining, scratch this game, and start a new one”. When you’re out of moves spending days, weeks, and months lamenting what once was can eventually cost you years. Remember that someone once said that time is money; and in this case, the most precious thing you should never think of losing is time. I really understand that after a relationship is over, we tend to want time to move on and rediscover ourselves but as a matter of fact, spending too much time thinking of issues that are out of our lives is like building a house without a foundation… everything will go back down eventually. Burying our past is never enough to let us move on with our lives. There are those things you shared in common with these people. We are human beings, we are not perfect and we are prone to making errors. Just like they say; life is too short and we only live once, it’s perfectly true that we only live once and due to this, in this life we will never have hat time for rehearsals on how to live it. We need to live life perfectly to our satisfaction and we shouldn’t let heavy loads drag us behind. The greatest problem with a bad past is not that you made mistakes or did things wrong. It is that you can’t go back and undo it. That is the most frustrating part about guilt and regrets. We are hands on people. We want to fix mistakes and right wrongs. But once the moment has slipped into the past, what’s done is done. We can’t go back and undo or even redo it. That is the problem. So the key to letting your past go is dependent on some sort of action that we can take. The very first measure of letting go of you past is to free your memory off. If it is something or someone who you had some kind of strong attachment to, it’s high time you let them go and clear off your mind. Do away with anything that reminds you of them. Thoughts of them will always trigger your emotions and therefore you need to destruct yourself from having these wild thoughts that are haunting your memory. Try new things. Never get afraid of trying new stuff in this life we living. If it was a relationship, try making new friends and get involved in new activities that will even jog your memory more and more that you don’t have to think of your dark past. But the very important thing that you should never ever forget in this process of healing from your past is to be at peace with it. Be at peace with your past. In a nut shell, make sure that you resolve every issue that is in with your past. Because to be sincere, if you don’t, it will always come back and haunt you. If it does this, it will skillfully hunt you down and I promise you that you will never like the ugly outcome.
Do not let past relationships and old mistakes ruin your future. Don’t let someone or something that didn’t make it in your life to continue hurting you. If you do, you are still giving a portion of your life to something that no longer exists-it’s like letting your past slip back into a black hole. Learn the lesson, realize the pain, and move on. Scars remind us of where we have been, and NOT where we are headed.