Halo everyone!! Welcome to another session of my mind-blowing weekly articles. Let me be very clear. I understand very little, least of all the people closest to me. More so the people I love so much. It is the nature of any upright human being to want things handled or rather done their way. This might sound so right but then again, how long will we keep on holding onto this attitude? Don’t you think that this is a little bit selfish? Well, I don’t know.
To some level, being too wise gets a little bit dangerous. Even the wise people need advice or a shoulder to lean on from other same wise people. In this school of life, no matter how difficult our circumstances could be; we just need to play the background and let God take the lead in all our endeavors. The funniest part is that there is always a solution to any problem and like the saying goes; a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, it so begins by having slight faith. Just taking a slight step of faith and leaving it all to God in prayer. This is my way; the Jesus way!
So, I happened to have met ’Tracy’ on her third grade in college. Allow me to use this name for privacy purposes. She was this humble lady, beautiful of course and I was slightly taller than her. Her height reached my shoulders; her beautiful eyes that caught my attention on the very first day that I met her, shone all the way and really made her stand out. She was so outgoing, had a perfect attitude and most of all was so fun to stick around with. We really had a lot in common.
I really think this was ‘love at first sight’ if anything of the matter ever exists. I had just completed my undergraduate studies in Journalism and Public Relations and was interning in a local media house in the city’s capital. Things were so fine and easy to go with in the beginning. We had the chemistry. The love really flowed. I could feel it flow down my nerves, along my veins straight into my body, mind and soul; and every time we were together, the bond between us really shouted to the world and you did not even need to ask whether or not there was something between the two of us.
My internship schedule was a twelve-hour thing. I worked from 9am to 8pm, while Tracy’s schedule for part-time classes kicked off from 6pm to 9pm. Well, this was a perfect schedule for the both of us since I could easily come from work, beat the traffic and as soon as I was in campus to pick her; she had already been done with classes. She was always eager and excited to see me. Life was good. We cherished each and every moment we spent together. This was evident when it came to parting ways to get home. This went on the very same way for several weeks and months. We could always find time to go to church each and every Sunday. Frankly speaking, she was one lady who was extremely patient with me. Her patience with me really drew my heart closer to hers.
I’m sure some people are now asking themselves whether this article is all about some kind of love story of mine. To some level, I’d say No! But to some other level, I’d give an absolute Yes for an answer. Why am I saying this? Ok stick with me. As much as we were in a ‘relationship’ and things worked out so well between us, I had a lot of questions that always rang in my mind. Was this relationship really meant to be? Did I dedicate my relationship to God? Does this relationship please God? Was I doing things my way or God’s way? And could God give me a sign that relationship was worth having? I gave my time and attention to this relationship that I now ended up idolizing it in my mind. I could not think of any other person other than her. To the ladies and gentlemen out there, how far can you go when it comes to love and relationships? In one of my articles I said that people can be infatuated with infatuation.
Was this some kind of infatuation? The Oxford dictionary defines infatuation as an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Wikipedia rather describes infatuation as the state of being carried away by an unreasoned passion or love. Hillman and Phillips describe it as a desire to express the libidinal attraction of addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.
Approaching a relationship with some kind of ‘mouth-full-of-praise’ attitude is not one of the best ways to keep a relationship alive. What I’m trying to put across is quite simple. That is just a heart full of ego. Surprised? Guess you are. This kind of approach is always so mean because as a matter of fact, why waste your breath singing words of praise that are filled with yourself? ; Words that you don’t even mean a single of them. Words that don’t bring liberty and instead confine you in chains! Feeding your partner with empty phrases of love. Is this what we really want for our partners in relationships? Why don’t we do things that when done to us will please us in one way or another?
Today I want us to try it my way, precisely the Jesus way. One of the great purposes of true love is to help each other. We can endure almost anything if we have someone at our side who truly loves us, who is easing the burden and lightening the road. – Jeffrey Holland.
So let’s try a couple of steps today.
- STOP having sex. If you’re having sex and y’all aint married. JUST STOP IT! HAVING sex is SEPARATING you from GOD! God may be trying to speak to you concerning that lady.. but you can’t hear because your vision is all clouded because you’re in “love“– you aint in love, you’re in lust. LOVE waits until marriage. So first step, go to God. Make sure that God is ok with you even staying with that person. Real talk. HE is JEALOUS for you. If God is cool with you staying with her (and BOTH sides have repented and made a decision to honor God) then start this journey on the same page (Amos 3:3). Meaning you SET up some boundaries. STOP cuddling, rubbing, putting yourself in 1:1 situations and if it’s late, you shouldn’t be at each other’s house. And if you don’t believe me that it’s wrong to have sex outside of marriage, it’s clear here: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:18
- Guard your heart. (Proverbs 4:23) STOP watching stupid reality TV songs, going to clubs, love-sex songs, pornography or blogs. Do you know that those things plant seeds in your heart? Then, you wonder why you want to live it out and be sexual with your guy! So stop being all sexual as you sing & dance a Beyoncé song to your guy. Even if you’re joking. Men are visual & their APPLIANCES work. WHY test it out?
- Actions. Are you super sexual? Do you dance in front of him a ton? Do you change in front of him or wear low-cut shirts? Do you wear bikinis around him at the pool? JUST STOP. Period. I mean…Why buy the milk if you’re getting to see EVERY part of the cow for free?
- Tell your emotions to shut up. So of course you want to lay up, kiss, cuddle and do all of those things but at some point, you just have to tell your emotions to calm down. When you finally take a stand & obey God in your relationship, the flesh won’t have a foothold in your heart– Then you’ll be able to pass some tests. LOVE God more than you love each other.
- GOD has to be first. This is so cliché. But it’s the truth & this will never change. The above 4 reasons won’t happen unless GOD is really first in your heart. Spend DAILY time with Him, apply what you learned, serve in your local church, walk in love, pray earnestly for your guy, forgive whoever hurt you– DO your part. When TWO believers come together with their hearts committed to Christ… YOU both turn into a powerful couple.
- Spend time with God. This will be included in every blog that I do. This will never change. When you stay connected with God… You won’t want to sin. You will want to please GOD.
In a nut shell, there is an essence for you as a man or a woman to be proud of your spouse and do not detest each other. Put away what makes you angry with your spouse. Think of your future together and do not sacrifice it because of a misunderstanding or quarrel. Make up easily and be in a hurry to maintain a peaceful relationship. Understand each other and build trust together. Believe life is beautiful and enjoy your relationship.
With all these in consideration, I really think and have the confidence that relationships will work out. The question that still goes unanswered is; are you in a position to spot the difference between true love and infatuation? As you think about it, try to find out your purpose in life. Get to know what God wants for you. I know there are a lot of voices going on in your head right now. Take your time and listen to them. Choose the voice to give heed to but first pray about it. I hope and pray you listen to the right voice and make the best decisions that will transform you and your entire life. Good luck! Thanks for reading.
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